YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEE THE WHOLE STAIRCASE, JUST TAKE THE FIRST STEP
That first step was the hardest. It bore holes in my soul for what seemed like eons as one thing hindered me from that step. FEAR. F=false E=evidence A=appearing R=real. Now say it again: FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. Good job.
When I wrote my first blog in January of 2018, I was looking for a release from my turmoiled existence anticipating the flow of words would heal my soul. Perhaps it did not heal my soul, but it pushed me in the direction where I desperately needed to be. Soul healing is a whole other issue that we can get into another time.
But for now, can I get an “Amen”? Amen! Here I sit before you with the declaration that I took that first step. I took it without seeing the whole staircase. I took it with the what if’s and the how will I’s and the barbaric feelings of WTF am I doing? (By the way, that’s really What The Funk as I’m not a profanity user fan, however since I took that first step the profanity has seemed to proudly want to roll off my lips!)
So what’s the amen for? I am officially a single lady. “All the single ladies . . . all the single ladies . . . now put your hands up!” Why put your hands up? Not to show that naked ring finger that “if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it”, but to show that we don’t need a ring on it to be healed. Sometimes we need to take things off in order to heal.
I was tied to a life that I floated into because it was time to “play house” (I wasn’t getting any younger!). I was in the go with the flow existence and he was there at the right, or wrong, time and floated along with me. He seemed to be pretty perfect, as that can happen when you ignore all the numerous red flag imperfections and have the “I can change him” attitude. Yep, a perfect guy. Ha!
My lesson? Don’t play house with someone you know in your heart is not for you. Even if you have invested time and energy there. Even if you’re at the ripe ‘ol age of teetering on “hurry up or you will be too old to have babies”. Even if you convince yourself that “he’s not so bad”. Even when your heart fights with your head. That house can never be a home if you bury the bullsheet (profanity-free zone) under the rug. You deserve to put yourself on a pedestal. There are so many untouchables below. Don’t touch unless your head and your heart no longer fight with each other and have come to a level playing field.
As I continue taking new steps (and do understand new steps will not be achieved daily) I still do not see the whole staircase. I cannot expect to see the whole staircase. Maybe not ever, but as long as I get closer I can see that the first step was not as scary as I anticipated.
What first step are you afraid to take? What is holding you back?
Remember: You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Quote Therapy 101 