Think of a time that brought you happiness. Close your eyes. Imagine that moment. Feel it. Hear it. See it. Taste it. Touch it. How did it make you feel? Perhaps you were transported back to that time and experienced some of the wondrous feelings you possessed at that moment. Then what? Then you opened your eyes and you came back to reality. Maybe feeling a little sad now? That happiness may seem like a fleeting moment. But you know what? You were happy. And you can be happy again. Believe it or not, sadness makes you stronger in order to find happiness again.
Have you ever worked out and the next day you felt sore? Just like after you workout, your body repairs or replaces damaged muscle fibers through a cellular process where it fuses muscle fibers together to form new muscle protein strands. Each workout increases muscle thickness to create growth. Now relate that to your life. A life event occurs. It may have been you who made it happen or it may have been some other force. But it happened and now you feel like you will never be happy again. WTF is going on? You are being broken down and challenged. Your job is to stay strong in this uncertainty. Be sad. Cry. Blame others. Do what you need to do to get past this. But know that these challenges will only build you up little by little in order to make you stronger.
There are days still that I think to myself, “When will I be happy?” Then I need to remind myself where I was and where I am today. I conquered some hurdles that made me feel good. I need to remember those and relish in my successes. I need to remind myself that happiness is not one big laughing, loving, joyful, estatic picture. There are happy steps along the way in life while intermittent or prolonged periods of sadness can occur. That is where your strength is disguised. The mask is so sneakily placed that we cannot recognize that our turmoil will make us stronger. So we beat ourselves down. Again and again. We feel damaged just like the muscle fibers of our being. They are breaking down. When we can poke our head out of that hole we put ourselves in, we consciously realize that we have survived our worst days as we are still here! It is that glimmer of hope that builds strength. Recognize it.
The word STRONG. It is subjective, just as everything is in this world. If you think of yourself as strong, what visions do you see? A powerlifter? Someone who can leap tall buildings in a single bound? A sumo wrestler? Crocodile Dundee? Helen Keller? Albert Einstein? Rosa Parks? Your mom? Your dad? Whoever it may be, use them as inspiration. They all fought hard, had defeats, let downs, challenges, but YOU thought of them as strong. Why? Hmmm…interesting question. What are you waiting for? Answer the question! Now relate your answer to some part of your life.
My strength came to me when I stopped. I stopped my fears. I stopped my wishes. I stopped my anxiety. I stopped, took a super duper long deep breath and then about a thousand more deep breaths, and I reflected. This year of my life has been one of the most challenging years ever. As I stopped, I reflected back to what I have accomplished. Reflecting is a quiet and humbling experience. After years of a lonely, one-sided, mentally abusive, manipulative marriage I decided to finally say, “I’M DONE!” Yep, it only took 17 years and two beautiful children later. Did I find happiness right away? Heck no! It was find a realtor, get the house ready to sell, WTF…house sells in 3 days, whirlwind packing up 4,000 square feet ALONE because wuzband (great name for the “ex” instead of using all those bitter adjectives), is a cowardly loser (okay, so I’m still bitter!) and did not lift a flippin’ finger to help, find a home to rent for me and my kids (since wuzband put us in financial debt), file the divorce paperwork without a lawyer (holy cow, can it be any more difficult to file for a divorce by yourself?!?!), settle into a new home, move my kids to a different school district, change my address and all the paperwork to go back to my maiden name for every single account I possess, have my divorce finalized and me getting all I initially requested because “I’m invincible wuzband” is incapable of following through with things (turns out that was a plus for me in this case!), and everything else in between. Dude (been hanging around my 12 year old son a lot!), that sounds like someone who is strong!
So I ask of you . . . Stop. Stop it all. Just for a moment. In your sadness, despair, loneliness, what have you accomplished? Write it down. Title it ACCOMPLISHMENTS (put it in green for GO!). Leave room to add more. Post it on your refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, in your car, somewhere you can see it daily. Read it. Smile. Be proud. Now say, “I am strong”. Now say, “I am happy”. Lastly, understand that it is a process that you will likely go through again and again. But the best part is YOU are getting stronger!
You’re going to be happy,” said Life. “But first I will make you strong.”
Please share your stories, thoughts, accomplishments, happiness, strengths, etc. Follow me on QuoteTherapy.com and Instagram at Quote_Therapy_101. I’m rooting for you!
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