Liar, Liar…Pants On Fire!

Me: “Hi. My name is Michelle.”

Everyone: “Hello, Michelle.”

Me: “I am a recovering liar-, narcissist-, psychopath-, deceiver-seeker. I only like men who say they are sensitive, emotional, protectors, transparent and claim they are an open book. I fall hard for them and trust their fake news potential. I do it over and over and over again thinking that this time will be different.”

Everyone: “Corrected. Hello Idiot!”

That basically sums up how I feel. And it is because I FEEL SO DAMN MUCH SO DAMN HARD. Have we truly come to a place where faith in others is just another F-word?

Why do I want to still help those that have hurt me? Who have let me down? Been inconsistent? Ghosted me? Why do I still carry the weight of others woes’ even after being discarded by the liar?

Where did honesty go? Respect? Faithfulness? Transparency? One’s own conscience? Who do we believe? How can we trust?

It’s a game of LIAR, LIAR…PANTS ON FIRE! 🔥 Believe. Don’t believe. Doubt. Question. OMG…am I going coo coo inside my head? Why don’t people’s words match their actions? If you say it, DO IT. Otherwise, shut the F-word up!

It seems the only one we can trust is ourselves, but then we famously go and flake on our own self. We convince ourselves we are going to change. Stay on a healthy eating regimen. Get to bed early. Stop procrastinating. Get annual physicals. Finally scrub the caked-on brown crud off the toilet bowl. Fold the laundry. Use that gym membership that we got the beginning of last year. And then…over time, we slowly begin to flake on all those things. Where is that horrendous built-in flake button so we can slap the heck out of it and turn it off once and for all?

How can we trust others if we don’t even follow through with ourselves? Could that be exactly what is happening in the relationships we’re trying to build? Is it us who flails and becomes exactly what we don’t want? Is it fear that we are holding on to? Are we lying to ourselves to self protect? Could it be that the liar’s pants aren’t really on fire, but they are just too weak or not empathetic to honestly respond?

When we have endured a life with a lying, cheating, belittling narcissist, even if it was shortlived or 20 friggin’ years in my case, we begin to deny ourselves what is rightfully OURS and rightfully ours to have/become/take/believe. Insecurities set in. Narcissists can smell insecurity miles away. And then they pounce! They know exactly what to do to convince us they are not what we don’t want. (I know, I even had to reread that sentence…basically they know exactly what to do to convince us we want them – just trying to make you think like the crazy narcissist does as he/she twists our minds.)

As they dig their claws into us and make their mark, we become blinded by their unsympathetic words and believe those words to be truths. After all, they did many wonderful things knowing that would stand out most to us and be branded to our memory. This is the liar’s scheme so we will always go back to those comfort moments thinking we will never find anyone else like that.

Don’t buy into it! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be disparaging. But to all those Michelle’s out there entering what appears to be bliss, please stay strong and vigilant. You don’t need to put on your super strength red flag googles to look for those red flags, but when you do come across one and one more and one more, ask yourself, “Am I dealing with a liar, liar pants on fire?” I try to convince myself daily that I’m stronger than all of my past brainwashed ways and work hard to not go back to that frightened little girl feeling helpless. I grasp on to that good F-word to get me through it all – FAITH, as well as learning from my past experiences.

In reality, it does not have to always turn out to be all doom and gloom. It may appear that way to someone who has endured the abuse in whatever form it knocked you down. I will continue to have F-word (Faith) and believe there are many wonderfully happy endings. That is my wish for all of us!

Just make sure to be alert to the liar liar pants on fire individuals. Even though I am not one who gets revenge, eventually I do hope these liar’s get their pants caught on fire and get their bums burned as karma kicks their ass. However, there’s little hope that my ex-narcissist will ever change even if he does get his ass burned. And I have succumbed to accept that. But…burn, baby, burn!