Praying…

The song Praying by Kesha has greatly helped me maneuver through the last year of my marriage, my divorce and my post-divorce life. I listen to it almost daily, blasting it so I can drown out my shaky voice but still feel the power in the words. Give it a listen and come back, but first ask yourself this:

Listen to Praying by Kesha on YouTube at:

The beginning of the song opens with a monologue. Kesha has claimed she has had struggles with her own mental health and suicidal thoughts. She overcame much adversary and it comes through loud and clear in this song. Kesha muddled through her sorrows to come to have empathy for someone who did her wrong and put fear into her.

Growing up over my many years, I have known friends who have committed suicide. On the outside, they appeared happy. They were nice. They were kind. They had a smile that exuded that all is great in their lives. But sadly, that was not true. That was their cover. Their mask they hid behind. They pretended. They had become actors in their very own lives. There have been many times when I feel down and out and I think to myself that this life just does not seem to make sense. The tears flow. The heart aches. The agony seems like it will be never-ending. But after a good, hard, snot running down my face cry, I remember that I have good in me. I have others surrounding me that love me. I need to push through. I need to get out all the crap from time to time. I need to allow time for feeling sorry for myself. But I also need to NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT THERE ARE OTHERS THAT THINK I AM REMARKABLE AND COULD NOT EASILY SURVIVE WITHOUT ME.

What do we need to do? We need to uncover our pride. We all have pride. It may be buried, unnoticed or unaccepted, but we need to reach down and pull ourselves out of our woes, grab that bit of pride that we obtain and bring it to the forefront. That is exactly what Kesha did. When you feel alone or sad, you still have hope but only you can recognize that. Never give up on yourself. Never.

When you are depressed, even all the support you have around you makes you feel lost and lonely. You feel like you have nothing and that nothing can bring you out of the darkness. However, there is something that can shed some light. It’s prayer. You don’t have to be religious or pray to anyone specific, but at our lowest we need to turn somewhere that can give us hope. It can be burying yourself in a book, going for a long walk, sitting on the beach and listening to all the sounds of Mother Nature or closing your eyes and praying to surrender your harsh reality to anyone you believe in.

Afterall, we are unable to control everything. If we try, we will break. We must learn how to let go. Many times I wondered, “Why is this all happening to me?” I may not understand, but have come to realize that there is a reason for everything. The hardships I endure are to give me strength. To give me a voice. To teach me not to cower, but to say what I feel … do what I want … think my thoughts OUT LOUD. I have become stronger little by little by the hardships that have been tossed my way.

Some days we are tested. A lot. These tests are not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths. Before we can move to the next level, we often are tested the most. Are we strong enough? Can we handle it? Will it lead to self-discovery? HECK YES TO ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS. The teacher is always quiet during a test. There is a reason behind all the insanity. Not to make us insane, but to bring us our sanity. This is when you learn what you are capable of. And, gosh darn it, YOU are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for!

No matter how awful your struggle is, you can get through it. Just make sure you are doing the right things, making the right moves, being truthful to not only others but especially to yourself.

You will escape from the monsters. You are not dead. You will feel pride.

YOU are not done. Nope. Never. Fat chance. No sirree Bob. Veto. Contrary. Rejected.

Talk about powerful. You can break, but you cannot be broken! You can breath again.

Praying by Kesha … and by all of you too! Thank you Kesha.