R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Do you believe me? Well, you don’t really know me so why should you? However, have I given you reason to doubt me? No. So, give me a chance. I will respect what you have to say, what you want to do and how you want to live your life. Trust me. I will fill your bucket up each day and make you whole. Your grin will be from ear to ear. I will show you how wonderful I am in keeping my word and respecting you. I will magically and unknowingly hypnotize you into seeing how amazing I am and you will fall prey under my spell without even an ounce of detection. Then, when you least expect it, I will pull the rug out from under you and you will fall into my grasp. Aaaah…the joy.

We all want to give others a chance. That is human nature. We want to see the best in others and we want the best in ourselves to be seen. However, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But when we are magically hypnotized, we become brainwashed and unaware of what is happening right before our very own eyes. Overlooked will be the standards we once set for ourselves because we were given the opportunity to see how someone could sweep us off our feet and we fall into their spiraling whirlwind zone of lies, hope, love, belief and trust. So what if they slip up once? Forgive and forget, right? Afterall, life is too short to carry grudges. Slip up twice, well maybe they didn’t mean to do that. Programmed have we become to make excuses for their behavior to others and to ourselves. Slip up again, oh it was something from their upbringing, they had a hard day or we misunderstood what they were doing and that’s our bad. Right? WRONG! We have just given them the opportunity to continue their pattern because we lowered our standards of forgiveness.

Patterns. I’m not talking about that 4×4 ring of fabric samples they toss you at the furniture store and you have to figure out the pattern of your entire couch from a tiny, measly square. I am talking about patterns: An arrangement or sequence regularly found or displayed. Their patterns stay consistent while we break down our own because we are manipulated under their grasp. We often ask ourselves, “Why did I allow them to manipulate me?” But the answer is, “We never knew we were being manipulated.” They trained and deceived us well. This happens to many good-hearted, trusting souls. Easy prey without knowing we are the prey. That grasp is so tight and filled with demented love and light, and right there is when they know we will not walk away.

When under their clutches, we become complacent. We are put in a “comfortable” place that we don’t want to dirty. Instead of speaking up for ourselves, we accept the dust and debris as we can still see the light through it all. That acceptance becomes forgiveness to the one who has lost all respect for us.

While they laugh all day, we cry all night. We look back at everything while they forget everything. While they temporarily fix other hearts, we look at our own that was torn apart. While they spend their time enjoying their life, we spend ours questioning, doubting, crying, searching. One day, if we are very fortunate, we will realize our fate that was written by another, and decide it is no longer their story to write. We all deserve respect. Know you are worthy.

Your choice:  Give them another chance, or give yourself a better chance? Your best teacher is your last mistake.