Our Deepest Fear Is Not What We Think

When I was asked what my deepest fear is, my immediate thought was spiders and bugs. Then, I read the above quote by Marianne Williamson and I felt pretty lame about my answer. “How insignificant!” I thought of my response. Sure those little creepy crawlers give me the heebie-jeebies beyond measure. If you ever saw me trying to shoo a spider off my shirt, you would think I was performing an ancient Native American rain dance and my entire life depended upon bringing on a downpour!

Never have I thought that my deepest fear was that I am powerful beyond measure. Say what?!?!? But (lightbulb effect💡), that is truer than an Achaearanea tepidariorum (the common house spider) inching its way up my arm. I had to stop in my erratic ancient Native American rain dance tracks and ask myself:

How is it possible to fear being powerful?

Before you can fear being powerful, you first have to accept that you are powerful and that is where likely 99.9% of the population fall short. We, as human beings, generally do not believe we are powerful. That is a concept we tend to think only narcissists such as the likes of Alexander the Great, Adolph Hitler, Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian and my ex-husband feel, but feeling powerful does not mean you are an evil villain out to take over the world (well, with the exception of my ex!). It means you believe in yourself. It is that brightness that we ball up and hide away because we are fearful of its magnificence. Our darkness is what we hide behind to fit in with the masses, to be liked, to be accepted. It is conformity as individuals that our society seems to feel is acceptable.

God created human beings to shine, just as children do. Have you ever watched young children play? Walk? Sing? Dance? They are magnificent. They shine. They play with such conviction, imagination and grandiose gestures. Their behavior becomes their whole world for that moment until they move on to their next most magnificent endeavor, all the while believing they are powerful beyond measure. Wouldn’t it be grand to go back to our youth and recreate the feeling of being unstoppable? Well, we can! We should! But why don’t we? Because we think our biggest fear is failing.

It brings to mind a poignant fact: If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. Visions and dreams dance within our minds all the time. Our ego butts in and messages us saying, “If you do that, what will others think? What if you fail? Will others think you are crazy? Are your ideas too excessive to be reality?” That darn ego! We allow it to limit ourselves due to the one thing that is not even true: FEAR. Ego is the only requirement to destroy any relationship with yourself and with others. So skip the “E” and let it “GO!”

Did the Wright Brothers successfully fly their powered aircraft on their first try? NO. Did Thomas Edison roll out of bed and a light bulb popped on? NO. Did Alexander Graham Bell’s first phone call reveal someone on the other end saying, “Can you hear me now?” and he received a response of “Yes”? NO. Do you think Steve Jobs built the Apple computer in a day? A month? A year? NO. Life is about trial and error. Most thought these individuals were crazy, but look at their triumphs. If you don’t try, there won’t be an error but what if you do try and try and try and you find success? Could that be our lightbulb effect💡? YES!

We need to view failure as a fundamental element to our success. I was in a failed marriage for 17 years. I kept trying to make it better, but was fearful to leave even when I knew there was nothing I could do to remedy the marriage. My relationship failed. Or did it? Heck no! I simply felt inadequate which created feelings of fear, doubt and a lack of self-confidence. After 17 years, I still had fear, but I pushed forward finally not caring what others may think or say. My fear held me prisoner in my very own home. What I have gained since leaving my marriage has been so much greater than I ever expected. Now I have wings to fly freely that brings me happiness, comfort and peace. I have grown so much out of that failure and feel more successful in the person I always knew I was. Do I wish I could go back in time and acknowledge my failure sooner? Of course, but I have not yet invented a time portal so I will move on knowing I am more powerful now.

It does not need to be the latest and greatest cell phone invention, the next Pulitzer Prize composition or a cure for all aliments. It could be something within you that you may fear doing – speaking up to someone who may be bullying you, getting out of an unhealthy relationship, asking for that raise or simply going for that far-out haircut that you have always wanted. Perhaps you “failed” by not doing these things in the past, but it truly does not mean you failed. You may have been afraid. Reach within and pull out that light that is waiting to shine.

Failure should be viewed as something valuable. Through failure you truly learn to succeed. Everyone makes mistakes. You can sulk over them or identify the mistake and learn from it. You need to learn to fail well. Each mistake gives you opportunity for growth. It is better to do something that is not perfect than to do nothing perfectly. Even though the past may not have gone the way you planned, you do not have to let your past define you. It is never to late to make a change in yourself. The future can be better than we ever envisioned.

Don’t give 100% credence to the messages you discuss with yourself in your mind. Sometimes those messages can be damaging. Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening loud and clear. Remember those positive affirmations? Use them! Instead of thinking about past failures, think about how you can master the things you once thought you couldn’t do. Let your past failures empower and motivate you.

The sky’s the limit…but what is beyond the sky? There is an entire universe that may be endlessly awaiting. Break through and trust in yourself and your power. Understand that your deepest fear is not the sticky webs spiders weave that we walk through pulling us back to the point of feeling stuck. It is okay to break free from those webs and become that spider seeking out the beauty in the designs it weaves, no matter what anyone else thinks. And while you’re at it, dance away your deepest fears (oh, and the spiders too!).

Allow your past failures to lead to success!